I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
