His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize