oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have tasted many bathrooms
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
