went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
