it's great music for shaving your balls
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
