its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Please, let me fuck your mom
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
whose parrot is this?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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