it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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