How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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