People with herpes should wear stickers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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