I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize