Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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