wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
