I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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