Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You did what with his pubic hair?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
