(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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