I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
