I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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