I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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