i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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