I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
