Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
