and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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