My brain says no but my pants say off.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
