I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
