Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
