my mouth tastes like poor choices
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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