Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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