So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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