You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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