If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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