Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
