it was like his penis was on wheels.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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