Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
