how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
