when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Are my feet made of real feet?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
