We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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