he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
