just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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