I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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