So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
