she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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