Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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