I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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