drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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