She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
