so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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