It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
