No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
