Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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