I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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