Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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