i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and you said cock pushups were impossible
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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