after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
