I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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