Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
