just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
