You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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