I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
