When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i will never coherently bang her
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
