this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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