I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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