i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
