Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
