I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I would fuck him just for his dog
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
