After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
