So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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