she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
