It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
