Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
